Goodbye lovers and friends, please forgive me

When I look back I see flaws everywhere. I guess at times I forgot about my own mistakes to focus only on what people had done to me and it was obviously ridiculously egocentric. But I've been  searching my memories over and over every day and night and I get so disappointed at myself. How can I not forgive the ones who have hurt me when I am no better than they are? Everybody makes mistakes, all the time, and everybody deserves forgiveness and a second chance. After all, everybody has their reasons to do something, even when they think they don't know why they did it. Anyways, I guess this text is my apology for judging, for not forgiving, for cursing names and being so angry and I just hope the ones I have hurt will forgive me too someday. I know I have to forgive myself as well otherwise I will never be able to move on. I have been heart broken for a while now and the only guilty one here is myself. I now understand that all my suffering and fear is both because I can't get rid of the things I have done in the past and also because I am afraid I'll make these mistakes again in the future and to prevent me from repeating them I am sinking in solitude more and more. But... diving in myself, figuring me out, expanding my mind and heart, taking some time from everything and everybody and the intensity of this crazy life is how I believe I will be able to recover.