Shedding

 Who am I without the pain, the fear and all the other beliefs forced on me? 

Lately I've been... healing? I guess that's healing, I don't know. What I know is that some things are not so heavy anymore, some things are losing their power over me, some things are just not enough to put me down again, not anymore. And I am the same I've always been, still anxious, still worried, still trying but also surrending, but I have felt different. It's hard to explain, and it's uncertain, and it's almost scary because it's like I'm really letting go of things that I've been carrying inside probably since my first years of life, and I'm about to turn 32. And it's not like I forgot the things that hurt me, but I guess some of them are finally just existing, without all the weight. I hope I'm able to get used to it without losing myself. I hope I find myself again, over and over. I hope I can handle being different from what I have been almost my whole life and wanting different things and situations. I hope I can completely shed the old skin and grow a new one, without losing my essence, my sensitive heart and my old soul. 

 I know I won't.